Welcome to the first weekly Lighthouse Letter. A lot of you are new here, so here's the deal: every Tuesday you get one news item, one idea, three quotes and one question to think about this week. Short enough to read on your phone in the parking lot.
Let's go.
One news item: The NCAA's new five year clock, and what it does to roster spots
This June the NCAA Division I Cabinet voted, unanimously, to scrap the old eligibility rules. No more four seasons in five years. No more redshirts. No more waivers. In their place: one age based clock. A player gets up to five years of eligibility if they enroll in college no later than the academic year after their 19th birthday. Division II adopted the same model.
This isn't a proposal. It's adopted and in effect. Anyone who starts college in fall 2027 or later, which means this year's high school seniors, lives under the new clock only. Players who started in 2026 and current college golfers get whichever set of rules treats them better.
Why it matters to your family, in three parts.
First, the clock runs continuously once it starts, and it starts either when your child first enrolls full time anywhere or the fall after they turn 19, whichever comes first. A gap year or a reclass that pushes enrollment past 19 can quietly cost a year of eligibility. The NCAA's own page says to plan the enrollment timeline carefully. Do that before you decide, not after.
Second, current college players can now stay a fifth year without a redshirt or a waiver. Division I golf rosters are capped at nine under the House settlement. More players staying plus a hard cap means fewer open spots each spring, and more coaches checking the transfer portal before they look at a high school senior.
Third, none of this changes what gets your child recruited. Coaches still look for development over time, character, passion for the game, athletic ability and fundamentals. They don't make offers on rankings. What changes is the math, so the school list has to be wider: Division I, II, III and NAIA, built on fit, not on logos.
What to do this week: if you've been talking about a gap year or reclassifying, check the clock first. If your player is in 9th or 10th grade, have them write to coaches themselves, every few months, about their progress. It still works.
Source: NCAA, Division I adopts age based eligibility model (June 23, 2026) and the NCAA Eligibility Center's rule summary. Roster limits: College Sports Commission.
One idea: The single biggest factor
A while back I ran a poll asking what the most important factor in a junior golfer's development is.
I was shocked that everybody didn't pick Parenting.
Because after 25 years in competitive golf, having 3 kids of my own play D1 golf, coaching at Duke and Ohio State, and working with hundreds of junior golf families, here's what I've observed, researched and learned:
How you parent is the single biggest factor in your child's junior golf success.
Not the swing coach. Not the clubs. Not the tournament schedule or the ranking. You.
Here's why it works that way. Your child will have several coaches over ten years. They'll have one home. Every lesson, every round and every practice gets filtered through the car ride home, the look on your face on the 14th tee, and the first question you ask when they walk in the kitchen. The swing coach gets an hour a week. You get the rest of it.
And here's why almost nobody does it well. Nobody shows parents how. We hire a coach for the swing, a trainer for the body, a fitter for the clubs, and we leave the biggest variable in the whole system to instinct and good intentions. Good intentions are exactly what turn into pressure. I've watched it from every side: as the player, as the college coach, and as the dad in the gallery catching my own shoulders slump.
Almost nobody shows parents how to do this well. I'm on a mission to change that.
So, here are the 10 most important factors in elite golf parenting. From my chapter on Parenting in Becoming Elite:
- Create a Safe Environment. Your love is unconditional and separate from their golf score. Same affection after an 85 as after a 65.
- The Car Ride Home. This is where most parents blow it. The car ride home is a sanctuary. A no golf talk zone. Enforce the 48 Hour Rule.
- Body Language. Your kids are reading you on every single shot. Your expression must be the same after a birdie as after a double bogey.
- Communication. The most important words when they come off the 18th green: I love to watch you play.
- Creating Ownership. A player led journey is sustainable. A parent led journey leads to burnout. If you are more invested than they are, that is a red flag.
- Giving them Freedom. Be a lighthouse, not a tugboat. At tournaments, stay at least 50 yards away.
- Allowing Them to Fail. Failure is not the enemy. It is a prerequisite to growth. Removing the opportunity to fail is the real enemy.
- Staying in Your Lane. You are the parent. Not the coach. Not the caddy. Not the swing analyst. Hire a professional. Trust them. Stay out of the way.
- Building an Identity Beyond Golf. They are a person who plays golf, not the other way around. Encourage other interests. Protect their social life.
- Playing the Long Game. This is a 10 year journey, not a 10 tournament sprint. Slow down. Savor the car rides and the post round ice cream.
The response to that post is the reason I went on to write The Lighthouse Golf Parent.
What to do this week: read the ten once, slowly. Pick the one you know you're weakest at. Don't fix all ten. Fix that one for seven days and see what your kid does.
Three quotes
"Your love for your child must be unconditional, and it must be completely separate from their golf score."
"Your calm presence during a slump teaches your child more about handling adversity than anything you could say."
"You're either actively maintaining your standards or you're passively lowering them. There's no neutral position."
One question to think about this week
Of the ten, which one is hardest for you right now?
Be the lighthouse, not a tugboat.
Coach Spar